High expectation, dawning realisation.

What is an expectation?
an expectant mental attitude: a high pitch of expectation.

Over the past month, saying theres been "soul searching" would be an understatement.
What do you expect from people? Have you ever been let down? Feel like you dont belong?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say we've all probably been there at one point or another.
Time and time again, people let me down...and let me down hard. As i've been fighting tears over the last 30 days, it didnt take me long to start evaluation on myself. Wondering, and pondering...Is it me? What did i do wrong? How can I fix it? I've wasted more time in my life tryin to change others, and understand them. DONT DO IT! Let God fix them. Its more than a waste of time.
Last night some things happened, things were said, and feelings were hurt. Is this it God? Is this my 10th confirmation from you this week that this isnt where I belong? The hard thing about that, is when looking at the bigger picture I really couldnt see myself anywhere else.
Having a convo around 1 a.m. this morning with my husband about people and situations....it HIT me.
It took him saying, "Well it doesnt really bother me because i expected nothing less from him or her"
It is only reasonable to expect that people will do what they say they will do.
This is all we can reasonably expect  that people will keep their word.....or not.
Sometimes even expecting people to keep their word is unreasonable.
By expecting too much, we just drive ourselves crazy. We keep saying that other people "should" be a certain way. They should be more considerate, more competent, more open-minded, more helpful, more sensible, etc. Should, should, should. But people don't behave the way they "should." They behave the way they are. The sooner we accept this and learn to live with it, the less stressed out we'll be!Maybe..just maybe....the reason I am so vulnerable is because of the HIGH EXPECTATION i give people.
Well my friends, thats when you are setting yourself up to be let down. You might as well have a huge sign posted all over you. Why do I expect so much from people? Is it because some of the things that have been said and done here lately are things i would NEVER even think of saying or doing to my "friends" or family? So why do they think they can say and do those things to me?
Idk about you, but once that trust has been broken..its almost  impossible for me to give my whole self to someone again. I rarely will allow that to happen. Tough lesson: Is knowing that I dont have to be B'F'F's with everyone...in fact i dont even have to be friends with them. I must love and pray for them, yes. And even forgive. Learning this has taken me to a whole other level but, Kami Beegle=God's work in progress.

My day job VERSUS my passion.

Define passion.
any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.



God's passion is truly for me and you.
For most of my life my day jobs have been my passion, but my passions have changed over the last year.
Do i really want to be in a 9-5, in front of a computer that is ruining my eyes from staring at it all day?
NO. Absolutely not.
My ultimate dreams = To have a cupcake bakery, do hair, be foster and adoptive parents, open a daycare  and to sing!
WOW. Ive got a lot of work to do.

I want to be where GOD wants me to be and no other place will do.
Fasting.Seeking.Praying. Lord lead me!
My dreams are there, just waiting. Patiently.
Wish me luck as i begin this journey of finding my true destiny and being who God created me to be. To live my dreams. Im not looking for easy, but to find my place.

“A great leader's courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position.”